I’ve Become Pro-Life As Soon As I Gave Birth / „Pentru viață” magazine, Spring 2014
In some states, the adoption process can be started from pregnancy. This helps children avoid staying for years in foster care homes, which can psychologically harm them. It also helps mothers who cannot provide for their children avoid the enormous stress caused by uncertainty related to their child’s and their own future. The American and Australian practice have shown the efficiency of this approach, which could greatly benefit Romanian children.
I am pro-life, but I used to be pro-choice. I once believed that if you did not want to take care of a baby, you didn’t have to.
I thought it was fine to “erase” your mistake and not have to worry about it.
It’s called being pro-choice: the woman’s choice to give life or not.
I could not have been more wrong. I am a living testimony of being pro-life. I went through the life-changing experience of putting my daughter up for adoption.
You see, I found out I was already two months pregnant on April 7, 2012. I had no emotions when I saw that plus sign on the pregnancy test. There was neither shock nor shame. I was just another seventeen-year-old pregnant girl. My boyfriend Michael and I researched all the possibilities there were to try to figure out what we should do.
Yes, we thought of aborting our child, but there was a feeling in my heart I can’t describe that made me say “no” to abortion. I knew I would not have been able to go through with it. I was the one who got pregnant. I was the one who made the mistake, not my child. I had to take responsibility for my actions, and aborting my little miracle was not taking responsibility; it was getting rid of “it”, taking the easy way out.
Michael and I went to Newlife, which is an agency that offers open adoption between birth and adoptive parents. We met a very caring social worker named Caitlyn, who helped Michael and I decide if we were going to keep our child or put her up for adoption. She had us write down the pros and cons of both parenting and adopting.
We realized that we were not ready to parent and we didn’t have the finances or the time. We were not going to be able to give our daughter the life she deserved, which is why we made the choice to put her up for adoption.
I wanted a family who biologically could not bear children of their own because I wanted to share that special bond with them of having their first child also be our first child.
For nine months I could have changed my mind and decided to be her parent, but I didn’t. We chose the family a mere few days after they sent in their home study. It was fate that my daughter was placed in the arms of such a loving family.
The adoptive family felt so blessed to have been picked by us. I could see the longing in their eyes to be able to hold a child of their own. They had waited three years to be able to finally have a young one on their own and I knew they were the ones I wanted to raise my baby.
Giving birth to my daughter and feeling her warmth against my chest and her breath on my skin brought tears to my eyes. I could not believe I even thought of abortion. I am so honored to have been able to give a family such an amazing gift.
Doing adoption made me realize that babies change a life for the better. Yes, you are judged, some might not support you, and it is the hardest thing you might ever do – but the feeling of giving someone something they cannot have on their own is priceless. I cannot express how much good it does in your life. Your outlook on life changes totally.
It was after I put my child up for adoption that I became pro-life. It is simply not fair to take a baby’s life when you have the opportunity to give your baby to a family who is desperately looking to love a child of their own.
I knew I made the right decision when I got to witness the adoptive mom as she laid her eyes on her daughter for the very first time. She cried tears of love and bliss: it profoundly touched me. The mom gave me a necklace of our baby’s birthstone so I will forever have a daily reminder of her. Our daughter also has my birthstone so she will always know who I am and have that bond with me.
I became pro-life immediately after giving birth to my little miracle. Ava Elizabeth was born at 5:39 am, on November 29, 2012, to the loving arms of Kyle and Marie. I believe unborn children should have the opportunity to live and experience life. I am a living testimony, and I am proud to share my story.
de Brittany Rotz
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